Almost 8 years ago I was sitting in my OBGYN’s office for my 6 week follow up appointment after having my fourth child. I was feeling frustrated, depressed and discouraged.
After getting checked over and getting the “all clear” I said, “Hey, doc, one more thing…what can I do about this?” pointing to my stomach.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not happy. I don’t want it to stay like this. There’s got to be something I can do.”
He looked at me like I had three heads and then replied, “Are you f-ing crazy? Oh Alecia, you just don’t get it. Don’t you realize that you’re OHM?”
I’m sorry, what? I don’t follow. Is that a disease? Is there a pill I can take for that?
“What is that?” I asked.
“OHM. One hot momma. You do realize that you just had your fourth child. You look amazing for having four kids.”
I said, “That’s the problem. I don’t want to look good for having four kids. I don’t want to look good for my age. I just want to look GOOD.”
He says, “Let me rephrase. You look good. Period. I’ve been doing this a long time. You are OHM. Don’t forget it. And don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re not.”
He even wrote it on his prescription pad and told me to give it to my husband as a reminder that he was married to OHM. I still have that piece of paper. Screw reminding another person, it’s a good reminder for ME.
I walked out of that appointment feeling slightly better but also thinking that he was just being nice. That he gets paid to make his patients feel better after shooting out their fourth child in 8 years.
Fast forward to today… I’m still struggling. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. I think it’s a constant struggle for many of us.
After going through a painful divorce and quickly losing weight and then gaining it back and then losing weight and gaining it back again and now doing the hard work of getting myself in shape the right way one pound at a time I can honestly say that the struggle is real. Ongoing. Never ending. And the older we get, the harder and more uphill the struggle is. But I’m learning two things. The struggle is worth it. And that we have to do it for the right reasons.
When I started going through my divorce, I started running. I have a love hate relationship with it still but I’m getting there. And it’s made a huge difference in my life and my health. It was amazing, free therapy for me when I needed it most. But it wasn’t until recently that I started doing weights. I’m trying and accomplishing things that I never have before. That alone makes me OHM.
I was at the gym this morning (what else does one do on a snow day?) and watching myself lift those dumbbells I’d never thought I’d be able to lift in that crazy mirror everyone is obsessed with and was reminded of that little prescription pad. OHM. I am, damn it. And, I was thinking if I need a reminder now and then someone else probably does too.
So, there you go girl. You are OHM.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. You are one hot momma!
Not based on someone’s preconceived ideas of what that is.
Not for your age.
Not for the amount of kids you have.
Not because of the number on the scale.
Not based on any crazy comparison you could make between yourself and someone else. (Dont’ do that. Just don’t.)
You just ARE.
Maybe, just maybe, if we were more consistent in reminding ourselves, and others, of this, the world would be a happier place.